Marco Teórico -

1. Body-Mind Connection

Understand the mind-body connection

If you have ever felt knots in your stomach in a tense situation, pressure, worry, you can imagine that there is a connection between mind and body. The body reacts when a person is under a lot of stress, suffers from anxiety or is depressed.

Some people manage to better handle the stress and pressures of life, they usually have a circle of friends and family who give them help, have support groups, play sports, practice yoga or meditation, and thanks to this they suffer less illnesses and recover faster when getting sick. Some people see things negatively. They do not handle stress well, there are few people around them to help them, they do not have the discipline of sport, they do not know the benefits of Yoga and meditation, and for this reason they tend to get sick more often, suffer more physical conditions and do not improve as well quick.

Question: It doesn't usually happen to you that when everything goes wrong and you wonder "what else could happen?" it is usually the precise moment when you get sick. Feeling hope can be the best medicine. It could be just what your doctor ordered to keep you healthy.

Here are some simple ways to keep your mind and body in sync

Look for the positive side of things
Calm your mind and body with meditations (moments of silence) and deep breaths
Exercise your body, walking and doing Yoga are great exercises
Have a balanced life. Make time for the things you enjoy
Laugh out loud and often

2. Brain chemistry

Five chemicals in our brain that can make you feel happy:
Endocannabinoids, Dopamine, Endorphins, Serotonin, Adrenaline.

Endocannabinoids: Also known as "the molecule of happiness", it is cannabis produced by our body that works on the CB-1 and CB-2 receptors of the cannabinoid system. There are different types of cannabinoids (of which 85 have been isolated from the cannabis plant) that have different effects on the cannabinoid system. A study from the University of Arizona indicates that endocannabinoid production increases after running, causing the effect of the "runner's joy".

Dopamine: This molecule is responsible for rewarding behavior and the pursuit of pleasure. When someone seeks some kind of reward, dopamine transmission levels increase in the brain.

Endorphins: Its name translates to "self-produced morphine" and has an effect similar to opiates. This chemical has analgesic properties and is produced by the pituitary gland and hypothalamus during intense physical exertion, sexual intercourse, and orgasm.

Serotonin: A high level of serotonin can boost a person's self-esteem, decreasing sensitivity to rejection and increasing
feelings of self-love.

Adrenaline: Also known as epinephrine, this chemical causes an increase in energy, increasing the heart rate and blood pressure. We can get an adrenaline rush when we are in situations of distress or danger, such as parachuting.

Understand the mind-body connection

Here are some simple ways to keep your mind and body in sync

Look for the positive side of things
Calm your mind and body with meditations (moments of silence) and deep breaths
Exercise your body, walking and doing Yoga are great exercises
Have a balanced life. Make time for the things you enjoy
Laugh out loud and often

3 and 4. What is inner peace?

The concept of inner peace has been tried to define in many different ways. Some examples:

Feeling of well-being and happiness that is experienced internally.
Mental state of relaxation, tranquility and well-being that is experienced continuously over time.

Feeling of complete bliss independent of internal and external stimuli. Goal the human being aspires who wants to find that physical and spiritual balance that allows it to be well with itself. Absolute tranquility, inner calm, relaxation, well-being, emotional balance.

How can we achieve inner peace? Inner peace is a very personal matter. The first thing we have to know in order to achieve inner peace is that each person is a world. There is no single method to achieve that emotional balance that will translate into inner peace.

Functional Methods: Natural Therapies, Bach Flowers, Guided Meditation, Relaxing Yoga, Saunas and Massages. In summary: inner peace is a very personal matter, but fortunately there are some keys that work with all human beings regardless of their circumstances and their level of empathy and sensitivity.

There is no magic and infallible method but we can try different techniques until we find the one or those that help us maintain that delicate emotional balance that allows us to live in peace with ourselves and with others.

Advice

1. Run away from toxic people
Surely you've met a toxic person more than once, right? I mean those people - parents, mothers, brothers, cousins, friends, boyfriends, husbands, children, neighbors ... - who absorb our vital energy and break our inner peace. Thus, fleeing from toxic people, from emotional vampires, is the first advice you must follow in order to build a strong, solid and lasting inner peace.

2. Accept your flaws
We are the only people from whom we cannot flee until the moment of passing away. We talk that to achieve inner peace we must force ourselves to accept those small defects that we all have, that we do not beat ourselves up all day because we are not good in this or that artistic discipline, because we are unable to orient ourselves when driving in a strange city, because we cannot be as orderly as we would like ... Accept the small defects that we are not able to correct.

3. Take care of your body
Take care of your body

There are many examples of people who suffer from chronic pain and have enviable inner peace. But be careful: these people enjoy inner peace. because they have accepted their physical situation, they have minimized their limitations and they have pampered their body instead of hating it.

Is it easy to change the chip and accept the body that has been our lot? Of course not, but it is essential to be able to enjoy that inner peace that everyone needs to feel good about themselves.

4. Work on your positive thoughts.
How do you always see the bottle? Half full? Half empty? Working on positive thoughts is essential for our fragile, delicate inner self and, do not forget, too exposed to the bad news that comes to us through the media and social networks.

Working on your positivity daily, projecting positive and relaxing images in your mind will not hurt, rather, it is a well-being that will bring you one step closer to that inner peace so close or so far away.

5. Silence / How the mind works in absolute silence

"Silence is the building block of all great things"

—Thomas Carlyle.

In recent years, researchers have highlighted the peculiar power of silence to calm and raise the volume of inner thoughts. The findings are that the absence of sound produces more relaxation than "relaxing music".

The first studies of "noise pollution" were made in 1960, and noise was linked to higher rates of sleep loss, heart disease, and the occurrence of tinnitus.

The sound works like this:

Sound waves vibrate the bones of the ear, which transmit movement to the cochlea, and the cochlea converts physical vibrations into electrical signals received by the brain. The body reacts immediately to these signals, even in the middle of deep sleep. Noises activate the amygdala, associated with the formation of memory and emotion, and activation causes an immediate release of stress hormones - such as cortisol. This means that people who live in noisy environments often experience chronically elevated levels of stress hormones, since they are producing them even while they sleep.

A Duke University biologist, Imke Kirste, eventually discovered that, despite all sounds they have short-term neurological effects, none of which have a lasting impact. Except for the silence.

6 and 7. The Difference Between Self-Esteem and Self-Concept

Before defining self-esteem, it is necessary to define and understand what self-concept is, since self-esteem is based on self-concept.

What is Self-Concept?

Self-perception forms a mental concept of who and how we are. We all have a mental image of ourselves, that is, a perception and an idea of how we are both physically and psychologically. We form that image over time, beginning in our childhood. This idea of ourselves can coincide with the idea that others have of us or not, even this idea can coincide with reality or not. The more realistic the self-concept, the more appropriate our interaction with the environment around us, the more we accept ourselves, the greater our capacity for personal growth and the stronger our self-esteem.

What is Self-Esteem? Self-esteem can be defined as the emotional result that arises if we accept and like our self-concept. Contrary to popular thought, self-esteem does not arise from evaluating ourselves positively in each situation, but from observing ourselves objectively and above all from estimating and accepting our self-concept. Self-esteem is not a fixed and stable concept, it manifests itself in a changing way depending on our vital situation and our circumstances and it changes throughout our lives.

What is the importance of self-esteem?

We can affirm that self-esteem is the basis of our psychological health. If our self-esteem is adequate, we can interact with the world in a healthy way, we can assert ourselves in any situation and defend our rights without alteration. With a healthy self-esteem we will be immune or little vulnerable to the emotional attacks of the environment and we will act calmly in any situation, accepting ourselves unconditionally, which will make us satisfied with our reactions and behaviors. A healthy self-esteem prevents psychological illnesses such as depression or anxiety. It is also one of the bases of human relationships, and therefore, it directly affects our way of acting in the world and of relating to others. Nothing in our way of thinking, feeling and acting escapes the influence of self-esteem. A healthy self-esteem allows us to have a series of behaviors and attitudes that have beneficial effects on health and quality of life.

For example, a person with a healthy self-esteem:

Is willing to defend its personal rights even when finds opposition or emotional attacks

Feel confident enough to change its opinion or judgment if experience shows it were wrong

Is able to act according to its own criteria, and without feeling guilty when others do not agree with its behavior

Doesn't waste time worrying excessively about what has happened in the past, or what may happen in the future. Learns from the past and plan for the future, but live the present with intensity

Is confident in its ability to solve its own problems, without being intimidated by failures and difficulties, and when really needs it, is willing to ask for the help of others

As a person, considers itself and feels the same as anyone else, neither inferior nor superior; simply equal in dignity; and recognizes differences in specific talents, professional prestige or financial position

Recognizes that can be interesting and valuable to other people.

Does not allow itself to be manipulated, although it is willing to collaborate if it seems appropriate and convenient

Recognizes and accepts in itself different feelings and emotions, both positive and negative, and is willing to reveal them to another person, if it seems worthwhile and so, its wishes

Is able to enjoy a wide variety of activities

Is sensitive to the feelings and needs of others; respects the generally accepted sensible rules of coexistence, and understands that does not have the right — nor does wish to — to have fun at the expense of others

As a conclusion, we can affirm that a healthy self-esteem will bring us great benefits in all aspects of our lives

8. What is mindfulness?

Definition

Mindfulness is the focus of attention on the present moment, focusing on what is happening "here and now", accepting it without more, without trying to change, or judge anything. Its meaning is full consciousness. Concentrate on what is happening in us and around us and know how to renounce noise and distractions.

In 1979, they began to use mindfulness in a therapeutic way to improve objective levels of health, among them it is essential to reduce stress and anxiety, to improve concentration levels and our memory, to discard intrusive thoughts so disabling and for the improvement of pain. Some neuroscientific research suggests that the practice of mindfulness supports the connections between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex, responsible for regulating the expression of our thoughts, emotions and actions. A strong connection between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala protects us from the damaging effects of stress and anxiety.

In practice, what a person experiences with mindfulness is a very close connection with itself, body, mind and emotions. When practicing mindfulness, you see yourself from another perspective, as if you were an observer who sees everything that happens in you and in your environment, so that you become more aware of what you feel and think. This will give you greater ability to align your thoughts and feelings with whatever purpose you have in life.

What does it consist of? In order to achieve mindfulness, you will have to learn from the beginning and train hard for it. There are different techniques that can help us achieve this: doing yoga, practicing meditation, conscious breathing. Meditation is one more vehicle to achieve mindfulness. Mindfulness is a state reached through the practice of meditation, regardless of whether a person is religious or not. The goal of mindfulness is to get our consciousness to relax and not make judgments of our sensations, feelings or thoughts.

9, 10, 11. The Surrender

The possibility of surrender is a personal choice and is always present. What changes is your way of dealing with the situation.

Giving up, for many people, is giving up, throwing in the towel, letting challenging events and situations roll over you and ruining your dreams, your goals, and your life. Surrender, also means surrendering to the future of things or connecting with the deepest experience behind each difficulty over which you have no control. These two meanings of the same word mean that, above all the things that we live daily, we have at least two options: we assume them with a spirit of improvement, or let them annul us.

STRENGTH APPEARS IN CRISIS MOMENTS

"When nothing is certain, everything is possible," says Margaret Drabble. All the great crises that we go through as human beings strengthen us, if you decide so and accept it. We all have this innate capacity, because, in essence, we are all resilient, that great invisible force that appears to help us overcome enormous challenges. When we have near death experiences; when everything seems to have been destroyed in a second; even when life appears completely black and dark, we have the enormous opportunity to begin to learn from that experience, without forcing, with gratitude, understanding, and “see” what is beyond the obvious of that bad moment that we are living.

There appears a basic and strategic component of the internal strength not to give up: the total and absolute responsibility over me, and, above all, the enormous influence that the power of attitude has.

Beyond the good times, where there are no major drawbacks, it is in the bad times when challenges arise.

In the aspect of attitude there is a third space, in between, which is the neutral attitude: it does not mean that you will stay without doing anything, but that, for the moment, you are going to stop all kind of action, and you will only dedicate yourself to think and process what is happening; to observe it from different perspectives; and to outline possible route of action.

8 IDEAS NOT TO GIVE UP

1) Explore your self-consciousness

This human dimension, that of consciousness, has been neglected many times, as it is linked to spirituality and even religion.

However, it is the self-awareness of who you are that supports your worth, your courage, your determination and your motivations. Do personal work, cultivate.

2) Avoid defining mistakes as failure

Every time you say the word "failure" to your mind, the energy automatically decreases; and in challenging times you need to have as much internal power as possible, simply because you will need it. So, avoid defining a simple mistake -we all make them- as a failure; rectify what is within your reach and move on.

3) Keep final goal in mind

Another frequent behavior is to feel that emotion floods our whole being, so the panorama looks completely black, or gray at best. To overcome this trend, keep in your inner vision, with your creative imagination: visualize yourself reaching the final goal. Although in the midst of the crisis it seems that it will never come, it is that vision that will strengthen you step by step, lower your anxiety and connect you with self-confidence and greater serenity.

4) Remember what motivates you

This is the time to focus on your greatest motivations, and sometimes in the dizzying pace of life we forget the essential. Go back to the small, to what makes sense to you and that connects you with internal experiences of motivation and self-leadership. There you will find guidance, purpose and extra energy to recharge your batteries.

5) Discover the hidden meaning of the experience you are living

At this point you need to become a scientist of your emotions to quickly analyze, identify and detect what you are feeling; in which part of the body they resonate and what is their root origin. Once you do, you will find part of the meaning, of what this experience comes to your life for, instead of wondering why, which connects you directly with your part of the victim of circumstances.

6) Analyze your strengths and enhance them

To gradually move to the next step, you can also discover your strengths and enhance them. Make a SWOT: trace a cross on a sheet of paper, and write Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats. Put in each quadrant what you deeply reflect about yourself and your inner strength; and continue with the next quadrant. It's a pretty accurate X-ray of what you have, and what you could do to fill in what's missing.

7) Incorporate lateral thinking

Phyllis Bottome has a lot of common sense when she states that "There are two ways to face difficulties: you change difficulties or you change yourself to face them." So, put in the same circumstance, two people in the same conditions react in completely different ways. What is activated is lateral thinking, an alternative route of action that can lead us to totally different results.

Thinking the challenge in totally different ways connects you to the infinite world of possibilities that may be available; just maybe you haven't seen them yet.

8) Change the word "problem" to "issues to be solved"

Here we have another formulation of the internal language we speak, that can help you: every time you use the word "problem" to define a situation that arises, no matter how critical is, the subconscious mind tends to close and just what you need is to open options and alternatives.

Instead, we invite you to correct your internal vocabulary with an expression such as “here is a critical issue to be solved”, “I can do it”, “I will do absolutely everything in my power” (and you do). You will see how the neuroplasticity of the brain will help you to do all its work in your favor, in expansion.

12. Emotions

Emotions are reactions that we all experience: joy, sadness, fear, anger ... An emotion is an affective state that we experience, a subjective reaction to the environment that comes, influenced by the experience.

Emotions have an adaptive function of our organism, to which we surround. In humans, the experience of an emotion generally involves a set of attitudes and beliefs about the world, which we use to assess a situation and, therefore, influence the way it is perceived.

For a long time, emotions have been considered unimportant and the most rational part of the human being has always been given more relevance. But emotions, being affective states, indicate personal internal states, motivations, desires, needs and even goals.

As soon as we have a few months of life, we acquire basic emotions such as fear, anger or joy. Some animals share with us these very basic emotions, which in humans become more complex thanks to language, because we use symbols, signs and meanings.

Each individual experiences an emotion in a particular way, depending on their previous experiences, learning, character and of the concrete situation. Some of the reactions that trigger emotions are innate, while others can be acquired.

Charles Darwin observed how animals (especially primates) had an extensive repertoire of emotions, and how this way of expressing emotions had a social function, since they collaborated in the survival of the species.

Although we have all felt anxiety or nervousness, not all of us are aware that a mismanagement of these emotions can lead to a blockage or even illness.

There are 6 basic categories of emotions.

FEAR: Anticipation of a threat or danger that produces anxiety, uncertainty, insecurity.
SURPRISE: Shock, amazement, bewilderment. It is very transitory. It can give an approximation to know what happens.
AVERSION: Disgust, nausea, we tend to distance ourselves from the object that disgust us.
ANGER: Rage, anger, resentment, fury, irritability.
JOY: Fun, euphoria, gratification, content, gives a feeling of well-being, security.
SADNESS: Grief, loneliness, pessimism.

They have different functions:

FEAR: We tend towards protection.
SURPRISE: Helps to orient ourselves to the new situation.
AVERSION: It produces rejection towards what we have in front of us.
ANGER: It leads us towards destruction.
JOY: It induces us towards reproduction (we want to reproduce that event that makes us feel good).
SADNESS: It motivates us towards a new personal reintegration.

13. Manage emotions

Actresses and actors manipulate their emotions through breathing. One method is the "Alba emoting", because by managing the breath you are managing the heart rate, and also what hormones and neurotransmitters are working. So, breathing directly impacts body physiology.

What to do so that emotions do not control us

Managing your breath does not allow you to control your moods, but being aware of your breathing and worrying about making it slower and deeper in stressful situations, “helps to calm us down, to regain control of the situation, and will avoid some of the added symptoms that occur when we breathe rapidly and sweep up a lot of dioxide: the sensation of dizziness, the tingling in the hands and feet, and the sensation of clumsiness”.

The scientific article Breathing over the Brain Stem shows that through breathing we can work on attention, memory or emotional
control.

“If I need to work and be alert, I can do it; if I need to relax in order to sleep, I can do it "

There are breaths for stress, others that allow you to wake up, relax, or manage anxiety. For this reason, we seek to train the body so that, every time we have stress, we can recover from the situation quickly”.

14. Guilt / Guiltiness

Learn to differentiate between guilt and the feeling of guiltiness. We tend to confuse guilt with the feeling of guiltiness, although the reality is that these feelings do not have to be related to each other.

On one hand, guilt refers to “realizing at a cognitive level” that something has been done that is not right. On the other hand, the feeling of guiltiness makes us feel "a certain pain or discomfort" “for having done something that is valued as
negative”.

Neither guilt nor the feeling of guiltiness are negative in themselves. What makes them "negative" is the disproportionate way we sometimes experience them.

It is true that guilt, or the feelings associated with it, can "hit" our self-esteem a bit when we face our limitations and imperfections.

To avoid this, it is convenient to assume from the confidence that my value as a person does not depend on how well or badly I do things. This way we can live them in a healthy way and learn from our mistakes.

Both guilt, as well as the feeling of guiltiness, can be adaptive; understanding adaptive as a positive tool to learn to relate to others.

15. Anxiety

Anxiety is a normal emotion that is experienced in situations in which subject feels threatened by an external or internal danger. It would be necessary to differentiate between: Fear -the subject knows the external and delimited object that threatens him and prepares to respond.

And anxiety - the subject does not know the object, being the internal threat and existing a difficulty in the elaboration of the response. Anxiety is abnormal when it is disproportionate and too prolonged for the triggering stimulus. Unlike the relatively mild and transient anxiety caused by a stressful event, anxiety disorders last for at least six months and can get worse if left untreated.

There are different clinical pictures in which anxiety is the fundamental symptom:

Panic attack disorder, in which anxiety occurs episodically as palpitations, a feeling of suffocation, instability, tremors, or fear of dying.

Generalized anxiety disorder, with a permanent state of distress.

Phobic disorder, with specific or nonspecific fears.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder, with intrusive and unpleasant ideas that can be accompanied by ritual acts that reduce the anguish of the obsession (washing many times for fear of catching it, checking doors or plugs, continuous doubts).

Acute or post-traumatic stress reactions.

Adaptation disorders to adverse life situations.

What are the most common symptoms?
Palpitations,
Choking,
Anxiety,
Phobias

16. ANGER

What is anger?

Anger is a natural human emotion, like others, that arises from the perception of the environment and the physiological reaction of the body to the sensations that are produced by it.

Anger is like an emergency signal for the body. To solve this emergency, the nervous system activates and prepares the body to respond or flee.

What happens in the body when we get angry?

Breathing speeds up
Heart pumps faster
Blood pressure rises
Sweat
Pupils dilate
Hands get cold
Possible tremors

Getting angry leads to emotional disturbance, irritation, rage and / or desire for revenge. Many times it is reflected in a verbal or physical aggression towards the person who caused it.

What happens in the brain when we get angry?

The part of our brain that responds when we get angry is the amygdala, which controls emotions. At the top of the amygdala is the frontal lobe, which is involved in making decisions, solving problems, and controlling our behavior. When the anger arrives, the blood floods the frontal cortex and clouds rational thinking. The right frontal lobe of our brain is in charge of controlling negative emotions and the left frontal lobe the positive ones. When we get angry, the right frontal lobe of our brain is activated causing rationality to be lost. This raises dopamine levels, causing the areas of the brain that allow us to self-control to become inactive, so when we are angry we commit acts that we do not do in a normal state.

17. Pain

Buddhist philosophy believes that the only way to overcome the pain that our existence entails, this "valley of tears" is to renounce desire, intention, and will in the highest order and allow ourselves to be drawn into the denial of that innate tendency to conserve the material.

Schopenhauer lived from 1788 to 1860, if we read his thought carefully we will find much similarity of his time with today's society, pursuing excellence, power, beauty, money at any cost, with the idea that the achievement of those goals will give us happiness. And, nevertheless, with the experience of dissatisfaction after reaching them, needing to look for others.

This thought decisively influenced other later thinkers such as Nietzsche, Thomas Mann, Freud, Sartre, Unamuno or Baroja, thinkers charged with a certain pessimism who also reflected on human suffering.

It is true, that it is easy to write theories about things while one has the basic needs resolved. However, we can take advantage of their teachings or those of Buddha. "Happiness is not in material things, in the satisfaction of desires, but perhaps in finding a way to improve as a human being and help others to improve as well."

Introspection or mindfulness as is currently promoted, are methods of moving away from the material towards that interior that equates us all and makes us a tiny portion of the Universal whole.

Enlightenment is not under the spotlight of success or popularity but in detachment from the individual for the benefit of the general, "the welfare of the majority must be above the welfare of the minority", this is not from a philosopher, but of an alien from fiction Mr. Spock. Nature imitates art.

18. Sadness

What is it? A reaction to a loss or adverse situation by which we are overcome.
What makes us sad?
The most common triggers for sadness are: The loss of a valuable person, object or objective.
The experience of an adverse situation.
These same triggers are shared by other negative emotions such as anger or rage. The fact that a person experiences sadness or anger in a certain situation will depend fundamentally on whether they consider that something can still be done, in which case the emotions they will feel may be anger, rage, etc. If, on the contrary, that person considers that nothing can be done to improve the situation, then they will feel really sad.
What factors determine the intensity of this emotion?
It is well known that not all people are saddened by the same situation. Not all of them react with the same intensity to these situations.
The most common modulators of this emotion are:
Personality patterns
Schemes
Sociocultural environment
Among the personality patterns, it is convenient to know that a person with a high degree of neuroticism is more likely to feel sad, since this trait is usually associated with low self-esteem, a great facility to feel guilty and a high degree of demand with himself. On the other hand, cognitive variables of the personality also influence the emotion of sadness. For example, a person with a pessimistic style, thinks that another person is responsible and causes everything negative that happens in his life, when is only the product of chance and have nothing to do with any one.
What is sadness for?
Attenuate personal functional level
Focus your attention on yourself
Provoke the search for social support and promote empathy for a part of the environment
Facilitate introspection and constructive analysis of the situation that has generated the conflict
Body expression
The face of a sad person is characterized by:
Elevation of the inner part of eyebrows.
Descent of the corner of lips.
Ascent of the cheekbones and narrowing of opening of eyelids.
Head tilt.
Look down.
As for the rest of the body, a slower movement is observed. One of the most characteristic things of people afflicted by sadness is their tone of voice that decreases noticeably as well as verbal fluency.

19. Fear

What is it? Fear is the reaction that occurs while facing imminent danger.
What makes us afraid? The variety of stimuli that this emotion generates in us, is so extensive that it is impossible to list them. Anything can cause fear in a certain person.
Processing
When we feel fear we believe that we have a low capacity for control and prediction. However, we believe that we need to confront it imminently and for this, we mobilize a whole series of behaviors. We always avoid and / or escape from what causes us that fear.
What is fear for?
Fundamentally, it helps us "react" and effectively escape any imminent danger.
Physical Effects
Fear paralyzes us and makes us focus all our attention on the triggering stimulus. In addition, in those cases in which it is necessary, it will facilitate defensive behaviors. Among other physiological reactions are the following: an increase in heart pressure, sweating, dilation of the pupils, decrease in body temperature, increased skin conductance, increased muscle tone, even stiffening. In addition, there are times that when the stimulus occurs suddenly, it generates a startle response in us.
Subjective effects
The main subjective effects of fear are: a great feeling of discomfort, worry, and on a large number of occasions, the feeling of total loss of control.
Consequences of fear
As we have seen, it is an emotion that is very useful when it comes to escaping from danger or potential danger. However, do not forget that it is also a barrier that prevents you from living life. In case it is excessive: "Fear paralyzes us, blocks us emotionally and makes it difficult for us to enjoy the small or great pleasures of life on many occasions."
Fear leads to an enormous amount of psychological disorders. Among them, it is worth highlighting:
Obsessive compulsive disorders
Anxiety disorders.
Panic attacks.
Post-traumatic stress syndrome.
Phobias
For something to be considered a phobia, it must have the following characteristics:
Avoid the triggering stimulus or condition anyway.
The feeling of fear is disproportionate compared to the real danger of it.
It cannot be controlled.
Produces a certain degree of uneasiness and discomfort.
There is no real justification for that feeling.
Clinical psychology is a resource sometimes necessary to overcome these disorders since the affected person is very limited in their day-to-day life. In those cases, where the severity is extreme, the medication achieves very beneficial effects. Do not forget that we can never self-medicate.

20. Joy

Joy is a state of mind produced by a favorable event that usually manifests itself with outward signs such as a smile, a good mood and personal well-being. The word joy comes from the Latin alicer or alecris meaning "alive and lively."
The term joy can be used as a synonym for: contentment, animation, enthusiasm, happiness, fun, relaxation, pleasure, among others.
Joy as value is manifested from within the soul and is reflected through feelings of well-being. It is also a positive feeling caused by a pleasant emotion, or by proximity to some person or thing that expresses this type of emotion and transmits it to other people
Love is the deepest and most common cause for joy as it leads to relationships with other people.

21. Action and Reaction / Cause and Effect

A basic natural law governs human communication. The law of cause and effect, at the mental level. The principle of action and reaction, on the psychic plane.
Another way of expressing it could be: "In the end, what you receive is equal to what you give." According to this law, everything we receive and perceive is neither more nor less than the perfectly logical, complete, and exact answer to everything we express. You may think that this law is not working, since sometimes you receive reprimands, or complaints, or criticisms that you consider unjustified, undeserved.
They may seem unfair to you, with respect to your current thinking and feeling, but surely they are the answer that corresponds to what you have been expressing for years, consciously or unconsciously. Think about it.
Remember that if you did not manage and are not managing your communication in a conscious or strategic way, if you have not been making great efforts to master your communication, then you are and have been all your life emitting a great deal of involuntary communication to the world, with careless, sometimes inconsiderate, or even sarcastic, mocking, critical, sharp, or aggressive security. And the world, remember, simply responds to what you express, according to what it receives, and according to its own interpretation; it does not respond to what you think, or feel, or what you really wanted to express and could not or did not know.
The world simply responds to what you express to it, consciously or unconsciously.
If we could clearly see everything that we emit to the world and above all that we have emitted throughout our lives, and its impacts on other people, then we could clearly see how everything that ends up happening to us is the exact response to our previous actions. But for this it is necessary to become more aware.
Get to know each other better, observe better what we do and did, and thus better understand what happens to us now.We need to know ourselves more and better, and thus come to perceive everything we express to the world, consciously and unconsciously, verbally and non-verbally, directly or indirectly, and the effects that all this produces on other people. If you do not understand or do not like what you receive from the world, do not be angry, do not protest, do not be upset, do not be indignant. Just try to observe what kind of signals you are sending out, that is, what are you saying to the world in the first place, and what you have been telling it for years.
After some time of observing and meditating, you can begin to see that what you receive is neither more nor less than the world's logical response to what you have been sending. But not what you are saying now, or what you said yesterday, but what you have been saying forever. The law works in the long term, throughout life (and beyond). It does not balance every minute, or every hour, or every day. You are in no rush. This is the fundamental law of human communication. So, if every day, for years, you go out to visit the city with the face of a "bull-dog" then do not wonder why you do not receive affection, or smiles, or beautiful looks from other people. If every day you go out to torture people with your barking, for a long time, do not expect the world to treat you well, remember you, and give you beautiful birthday gifts. If you have been treating your children badly, pressuring and threatening them for years, do not expect that when they are independent they will come to you with gifts, smiles and thanks for their childhood.

22. Respect

The word comes from the Latin respectus, which translates 'attention', 'consideration', and originally meant 'look again', hence something that deserves a second look is something worthy of respect.
Respect is a value and a positive quality that refers to the action of respect; it is equivalent to having veneration, appreciation and recognition for a person or thing.
Respect is one of the most important moral values of the human being, as it is fundamental to achieve a harmonious social interaction. Respect must be mutual and born from a feeling of reciprocity. One of the most important premises about respect is that to be respected it is necessary to know or learn to respect, to understand the other, to value their interests and needs.
Respect must also be learned. Respect does not mean agreeing in all areas with another person, but it is about not discriminating or offending that person because of their way of life and their decisions, as long as said decisions do not cause any harm, or affect or disrespect others. Respecting is also being tolerant with those who do not think the same as you, with whom they do not share your same interests, with whom they are different or have decided to differentiate themselves. Respect for the diversity of ideas, opinions and ways of being is a supreme value in modern societies that aspire to be fair and to guarantee a healthy coexistence.
Many religions address the issue of respect for others, because it is one of the essential rules to have a healthy relationship with others. Moral values are principles created by society and tradition in order to define correct patterns of general behavior.
Without respect we would not take into account the lives, opinions and beliefs of others. All of this would create chaos and would be a step backwards for society.
Therefore, every time we act with respect, we are helping to create a much more fair and friendly world to live in. Respecting the other only for the fact of being human, considering him an equal even if he looks, expresses himself or thinks differently is one of the highest expressions of respect as a moral value.

23. Empathy

The word empathy comes from the Greek empátheia which means "excited".
Empathy is the intention to understand feelings and emotions, trying to experience objectively and rationally what another individual feels.
Empathy makes people help each other. It is closely related to altruism - love and concern for others - and the ability to help.
When an individual manages to feel the pain or suffering of others by putting himself in their place, he awakens the desire to help and act according to moral principles.
The empathic person is characterized by having affinities and identifying with another person. It also knows how to listen to others, understand their problems and emotions.
Otherwise, empathy allows one person to understand, help and motivate another who is going through a bad time, achieving greater collaboration, and understanding between the individuals that make up a society.

24. Breath / The emotion-breath connection

In the brain stem there is a group of neurons that activate inspiration and expiration. This network is interconnected with the autonomic nervous system, which is what is activated by our emotions.
The autonomic nervous system — which controls involuntary acts and functions — is divided into the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems.
THE SYMPATHETIC -is activated when we are in situations of stress or emotion.
Example: that our intestinal transit stops or that our respiratory frequency and intensity increase.
THE PARASYMPATHE - does the opposite: it contains it.
The control of this is complex, it is self-regulating with the information it receives from mechanical, chemical, and barometric sensors located in the lungs. The set of all this determines the frequency and duration of each breath.
The breath drives all the actions we perform. The brain has a respiratory pacemaker that is activated and can be precisely adjusted by breathing and manipulating the rate at which you breathe in and out.
Slow and controlled breathing decreases the activity of this circuit, influencing emotional states.

25. Positive Mind

Always use positive words
How many times do we find ourselves complaining about everything? Many, right? That is why it is important to remember that our words reflect our thoughts, and the more we look for positive things to say, the more we will fill our thoughts with a positive attitude. Make an effort to commit to always having a positive mind. I suggest the following exercise: every day when you wake up have a conversation with yourself and ask yourself: what do I want to achieve? How will I react when I reach my destination? How will I avoid negative thoughts?
Make a commitment in that moment to avoid them and replace them with constructive and positive thoughts. The next morning, check how much you managed to expel negative thoughts in your previous day and start again!
Focus on the Present Moment
We usually make problems seem bigger than they really are. This can become a habit. A lousy habit! But by focusing on the present you will diminish your worries and fears about what might go wrong. Accept that not everything is perfect, perfectionism does not bring us closer to happiness, it takes us away from it! Being positive does not mean thinking that everything is perfect. It can be difficult to give up the need for perfection and control, but accepting that things will not always turn out as you expect will give you inner peace, reassurance, and a positive focus for the future. Many situations are out of our control, and instead of wasting energy generating negative emotions for this, it’s better accept that things did not go as you wanted and focus on what you could do better next time.
Live with positive people
Tell me who you're with and I'll tell you who you are! We look like the people around us: the more time you spend with people who have a positive mind, the more you start to think / act positively.
Contribute to your community
One of the best ways to be more positive (and actually feel better) is to contribute to your community in some way.
It is wonderful to help other people.
Be grateful
Once a week take a few minutes out of your day to be grateful for all the good things in your life. Remembering all those reasons for which you feel grateful helps you maintain a positive focus to face any situation in your life. Being grateful will turn anger and frustration into more positive feelings.
Meditate!
Meditation helps us generate positive thoughts.

26 and 27. Give and Receive

Donner et recevoir sont deux capacités très importantes présentes dans nos vies qui, pendant longtemps, ont été très « mal comprises » par la société. Nous sommes tous conscients de l'importance de donner aux autres, mais personne ne parle de recevoir. La capacité de donner doit aller de pair avec la capacité de recevoir afin de créer des relations saines et équilibrées entre les personnes. Mais cette partie nous coûte généralement un peu plus cher, alors pourquoi cela se produit-il?

Social and religious beliefs tell us that we have to give love, support and affection. And they remind us how important it is to be generous and share with the fellow.

For years, women were educated and prepared for this: to care, to love, to support. And, as usual, we were told that this was love. Men were prepared to give answers and solutions, to give security to the family, and they were told that this was love. That is why, for years, and little by little, in our minds we have been forming a wrong idea about what real love is.

We believed that in order for them to love us we had to be helpful, surrender despite forgetting ourselves, and never asking for anything in return. However, that is a big mistake. When we do, we are creating asymmetric and unbalanced relationships. And in that way, although in the short term we feel good, in the long run, it makes us feel inferior and dissatisfied.

True love is the one that gives, but also, the one that asks for and accepts what it receives. When we give, we feel valuable to the other person, and when we ask, it is the other person who feels worthy of our trust and valuable to us, what allows a balanced and equal relationship. The ability to receive is closely related to our ability to be grateful and humble. Also, to “deserve”, because we are not going to receive anything that we do not think we deserve.

Grateful when someone gives us their help. Humble to ask and acknowledge that we need help and that we are open to receive it. Deserving of all this. Because we all like to love and be loved and because we all deserve that happiness.

Exercise:

We will ask ourselves these questions.

When I give, I will ask myself these questions:

• Am I going myself in, why do I do it?

Do I want to get something in return?

• Do I give what I need to receive or, do I give what the other needs or deserves?

When I receive, I will ask myself these questions:

Do I feel worthy of it? Do I appreciate it, or do I downplay it or even reject it?

Am I receiving as I give?

Do I feel inferior if I receive?

The answers to these questions will be determining the quality of your life and your relationships.

28. Detachment

"Happiness is like a butterfly, if you chase it, it moves away from you, but if you sit down and relax, it ends up resting on your shoulder." (Viktor Frankl)
We all seek happiness and have a full life, free from suffering. And we all use every one of our resources to achieve it.
This is applicable to every facet of our life, from the sentimental to the professional. All of them are important to our happiness.
How is it possible to be happy if you are suffering emotionally? Detachment is an invaluable tool to achieve full happiness.
WHAT IS ATTACHMENT? Attachment - of the verb to attach - is synonymous with clinging, and even establishing dependence or obsession towards something or someone.
When you become attached to an object, idea, activity or person, you end up creating strong bonds with them. So strong that you can get addicted to them. And when you are addicted to something, your life ends up revolving around that addiction. You are willing to do anything to not let go of that object, activity or person. You do everything in your power to continue by their side and nurture the bonds that unite them.
There is nothing wrong with weaving and nurturing bonds with people, ideas, activities, and even objects. The problem with addictions is that they often end up limiting your life, and even dominating it.
Collateral damage:
Anxiety: intimate friend of stress.
Fear: cousin of anger and violence.
Frustration, disappointment, or depression.
Disease, the ultimate consequence of all forms of suffering.
Logically, all of this gets you out of your way and makes you feel unhappy and lost in life.
UNTIL WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET ATTACHED?
Detachment is always calling, but it is not easy to hear, because the ego resists. He resists because he does not want to change, he does not want you to change. Changing would kill him, and the ego, like any living thing, has its own survival instinct.
Ego makes you stick to everything that keeps you within your comfort zone.
To achieve this, he uses all his minions: fear, dependence, laziness, insecurity...
But the comfort zone is a place where there is no progress, personal growth or evolution of any kind.
It is a place that ‒as the word itself indicates ‒ is comfortable. And that place is good for you to rest, to take a break or to digest past experiences. But not to spend your entire life in there.
So when you have been in that comfort zone for too long, you start to suffer, degrade yourself and feel the damage and collateral effects that we talked about earlier.

29. Attitude

Attitudes are the result of your personal conscious and unconscious choices.
The victims are focused on the outside; they always dream that a person comes to solve all their problems, and in that fantasy, they lose themselves in enjoying, learning and expanding. Their attitude is negative, pessimistic and nostalgic for a past that, they say, knew how to be better, or fantasizing about a future that, they affirm, does not depend only on them.
The protagonists take on the challenge of staying in an intelligent balanced state, with a higher rate of positivity in their attitude than the average person. They face problems, sit on top, and solve them. They control instead of worry. They have the quality of permanent gratitude, and seek to connect more and more with people and experiences of well-being and happiness, starting with them - the basis of their healthy self-esteem - and, consequently, for others.
All of this is linked to personal responsibility, which is yours and cannot be handed over or delegated to anyone else. Response-ability is the ability to respond to situations that occur to you. It just depends on you, and no one else.
5 questions to become the protagonist of your life
How am I limiting myself in my development?
How can I work consistently and persistently to achieve this? (Be 100% responsible for my life / Response-ability)
What do I really want in different aspects of life?
What is the conscious and unconscious choice of attitude that I can take to make my life better?
What results have I obtained with my negative attitude?
How could they be if I change that polarity, to a positive attitude?

30. Responsibility

The word responsibility comes from the Latin responsum, from the verb respondere, which in turn is formed with the prefix re-, which alludes to the idea of repetition, going back, and the verb spondere, which means "to promise", "to be bound" or " engage". "The ability to respond"
In other words, responsibility means taking care of yourself and others, in response to the trust that people place in us. When we are responsible, we are expressing the sense of community and commitment that we assume with others. Responsibility is a value and an ethical practice, since it impacts family, academic, work and civic life. A responsible person fulfills his duties in a timely and efficient manner.
For example, a punctual person is responsible in his work, who carries out the assigned tasks and objectives in the best possible way. It is also said that someone is responsible when he assumes the consequences of his actions. For example, when a person accidentally damages a foreign object and is about to repair it or replace it with a new one. In law, responsibility refers to the legal obligation to respond for the damages that an action generates in others, always in the terms established by law for each case.
The value of responsibility lies in the fact that, thanks to it, we take care of each other and achieve family, community and social development. When someone is not responsible, it not only affects their own growth, but it hurts others. In society, people are expected to act responsibly, exercising their rights and fulfilling their obligations as citizens. For example, when a father abandons a son, it affects his emotional growth and exposes him to a more difficult life. But when you care for him lovingly, the child grows with self-confidence and develops his skills better. In the same way, when the president of a country and his government team do not fulfill their obligations, a social crisis is unleashed. On the contrary, when they act responsibly, the country advances. As we can see, there are situations or roles where the level of responsibility is higher: a political position, a job, being a parent or taking care of someone.

31 and 32. Karma

What is karma?
What we call "my life" - is a certain amount of energy controlled by a certain amount of information. This information, in today's terms, can be called "software". You become a certain type of character because of the type of information that has entered you. From the moment you were born to this moment — the kind of family, home, friends, the things you did and didn't do — all of these things influence you.
Every thought, emotion and action comes solely from past impressions that you have had within yourself. They decide who you are right now. The way you think, feel and understand life is just the way you have assimilated the data.
In your perception, right now, from the moment you were born until today, what kind of parents, family and education you had? what kind of religious and social background? what kind of cultural realities? the sum of this information is traditionally called «karma» or «karmic body» or «causal body», what causes life.
Types of karma
For the sake of understanding, we can talk about the other two.
your Sanchita karma.
If you close your eyes, become conscious enough and look within yourself, you will know the nature of the universe, not because you look at it through your head, but simply because this information is present in the making of the body.
There is an information store that dates back to creation. That is your Sanchita karma.
But you can't take over your warehouse and do retail business. You need to have a store to do it retail. That «retail store», that is for this life, is called «prarabdha».
Prarabdha Karma
The prarabdha karma is a certain amount of information assigned for this life. Depending on the vitality of your life. life assigns to itself the amount of information it can handle. Creation is very compassionate. If it gives you all the karma you have, you will be dead. At this time, many people are tortured by the simple memories of 30 or 40 years of this life. If they were given that memory a hundred times, they would not survive it. Nature allocates prarabdha, a memory you can handle.
Free yourself from karma!
Whatever type of karma you have, it is a limited possibility and that is what makes you a limited person. Depending on the type of impressions you have received - whether of hatred and anger, or of love and joy - you consequently have a certain type of personality; Usually every human being is a complex mix of these things. Once you allow this karmic structure to develop beyond a certain point, there really is no freedom. Everything you do is conditioned by the past. If you want to move in the direction of liberation, one of the first things you need to do is loosen the grip and shackle of karma. Otherwise, there will be no movement.... if you are genuinely on the spiritual path, nothing will be clear. Everything will be blurry.
How do you do it? One simple way is to physically break karma. If your karma is to wake up at 8 in the morning, set your alarm at 5. Your body's karma is that it will not want to get up. But you say, «No, I'm going to get up». Even if he gets up, your body will want to drink coffee. But you give him a cold shower. Now, you are simply breaking the old karmic process by consciously doing something. What you like you can do unconsciously, can't you?
What you don't like, you have to do consciously. This is not the only way, there are other subtler and effective ways, I only tell you the crudest way possible
Spirituality and karma
Once you enter the spiritual path, you are making a statement: «I am in a hurry to reach my final destination». You don't want to take a hundred lives. And, in the process of these one hundred lives, you can gather enough karma to last another thousand lives. You want to hurry. Once a spiritual process begins, if the initiations are carried out in a certain way, dimensions are opened that would not have been opened otherwise. You would have lived a calmer life if you weren't spiritual, but a duller life too, closer to death than life. Without anything fundamental stirring inside of you, maybe just spent it comfortably.
Does this mean that all negative things happen to you once you are on the spiritual path? It is not like this. It's just that when life moves at a tremendous rate — a rate much faster than people around you — you think some tragedy is happening to you. No tragedy is happening to you. It's just that they go at a normal speed, but your life rolls in fast forward.

33. Victim or Protagonist

In life, in any situation, only two positions can be taken: Victim or protagonist.
The intention has to do with your inner power to reach the level of experience for which you are willing. Those who assume to be protagonists of their life plan, develop and use their intuition as a guide, they set goals and dreams. However, victims seem to spend their days with the handbrake on - as in their car - out of fear, beliefs and paradigms, and this leaves them stagnant and paralyzed. The power of intention, then, is the great inner activator.
Action is a direct consequence of intention. The protagonists know that only what is inside is manifested and specified. Even if what arises in reality is different from what they yearn for, they take advantage of that experience by placing themselves in the position of an apprentice, ready to make it come true and evolve. The victim generally stays in the first stage, that of sleep. This living in the "reverie" of reality does not make things happen. When what they want does not happen, they complain, paralyze, and postpone any other desire, giving up without trying again.
Did you know that the vast majority of people give up only on a first try? The protagonists are different: they rise from the setbacks and challenges, and move on.

34. Self-discipline

Self-discipline is the ability to follow personally imposed rules, with order and consistency, using only willpower.Self-discipline is a virtue that is acquired with constancy. Being a disciplined person implies focusing on the goals you want to achieve, whether in the personal, work or academic sphere. The ability to self-discipline requires the transformation of discipline into a habit, respecting the rules and regulations imposed, until it becomes normal.
How to acquire self-discipline? To acquire self-discipline, it is necessary to have determination and to practice it whenever possible, so that it becomes a habit.
To do this, it is important to keep these points in mind to begin to strengthen this virtue:
Take advantage of time: we must schedule our activities to achieve our daily goals.
Identify our strengths: it is important to recognize what we can do, to use to our advantage.
Know the priorities: it is necessary to be clear about the order of importance of our tasks.
Surround yourself with supportive people: this will help generate more motivation.
Make decisions with limited information: Acting fast gives focus to what we want to do and not postpone it indefinitely.
Choose to act: between doing or not doing, the first is always preferable.
Write down everything: it is a mechanism that helps us not to forget anything.
Stop being a perfectionist: the habit of discipline takes time, therefore if we stop being a perfectionist we avoid being always nervous and act.

35. The 4 agreements

The belief system
This system is very powerful. Since you are born, people try to mold you based on what they think is correct and what is not.
Without realizing it, as you grow up, you mold your life, or happiness, based on these beliefs, so you end up living a life that you did not choose, but the one that was programmed for you.
Each attitude is reinforced by punishments and rewards, if you behave well they reward you and if not, they punish you. Thanks to the fear of being punished or of not receiving the reward, little by little people began to pretend something that they are not, for please others. That is why human beings see normal issues such as suffering, living in fear and having emotional dramas. Every time you look at the society you are in, you see that it is a difficult place to live because it is governed by fear.
However, it is not necessary that your dream be a nightmare, because you can enjoy a pleasant life. The problem is that we spend our lives looking for beauty, justice or happiness. To the point where we forget that everything is within you, and that your current beliefs do not allow you to see what you have in front of you.
First agreement: Be impeccable with your words
This agreement is one of the most important and complicated. It is about managing your words correctly. Although it sounds simple, many times we tend to say things without thinking and hurt others (even if that is not our intention).
Words are so powerful! and the way you use them can free or imprison you. That is, your words or thoughts have so much power that they can change or destroy a life. Think of the person who led the world into a world war just by using his words, just with that he was able to convince hundreds and thousands of people to do horrible deeds. Hitler's words, created out of fear, were so powerful that they created chaos in the world ... Imagine that your mind is like a field where every word, idea and opinion is a seed from which a plant will grow. You should consider sowing seeds of love and not hate since that is what you will have in your life. Your words build or destroy.
Each word has the ability to enter the mind and change all beliefs for better or for worse. To be impeccable with your words is to use your energy in the right way, it is not to go against you. When you are flawless, you can take responsibility for your actions without blaming yourself.
For example, if you think that offending someone is not going against you, think twice. What results from that attack is that the other person hates you and that hate is not good for you.
An example:
A tired mother after a day's work wants to go home and enjoy some quiet time.
But when she arrives finds her daughter singing at full volume. This behavior makes the headache increase and she yells at her daughter “Now be quiet, you have a horrible voice!” At that moment the mother does not care if her daughter has an ugly or a pretty voice, the only thing she wants it's a bit of silence.
Hearing these words, the daughter decides to come to terms with herself and not sing again, because she believes in her mother's words and will upset anyone who listens her.
If you can understand and apply this first agreement you will see the amount of changes that your life will have. You can see these benefits in the way you treat
others and even yourself.
Seeing the power of the first agreement, you should focus on saying and thinking positive things, since this way you can fill your garden with experiences and emotions that give a benefit to your life.
Second agreement: Don't take anything personally
This agreement is about the importance of not taking things so personally, what others say are just words, you are the one who controls the meaning they have in your life.
For example, if a stranger stop you on the street and tells you that you are fat, what would you think? What this person is trying to do is send you their beliefs, ideas and opinions. But at the end you are the one who decides if you take these words personally or if you let them pass without affecting you. When you do not take things personally you become immune to all the poison that people try to put into your life. That immunity is a gift of this agreement. meter a tu vida, esa inmunidad es un don de este acuerdo.
But unfortunately, many times people tend to believe that they are responsible the things that happen. The reason you end up with these types of thoughts is called self-importance.
Miguel Ruiz mentions that personal importance is the greatest expression of selfishness, since you think that everyone and everything revolves around you.
To free yourself from these thoughts you must understand that nothing that others do is related to you. Even in situations that may seem very personal where someone insults you to the face, it doesn't have to do with you either. What other people say, do or think is based on the agreements that they have established in their mind. When you know what you are and what you are worth, you do not need to look for this information elsewhere or try to be accepted. If you know this , nothing they tell can affect you. By making this second agreement a habit in your life, it is when you begin to feel freer than ever, because little by little you are breaking dozens of small agreements that make you suffer.
Remember that you are the owner of your film, you decide how you feel, what affects you and what doesn't. At this moment you are in control and you should take advantage of it.
Third agreement: Don't make assumptions
All people at some point end up making assumptions about anything in their life. The problem is that by doing so, you believe that what you assume is true and you end up creating a drama out of nowhere.
Not for nothing do they say that making an assumption is looking for a problem. If you start to review all your sadness and bad times, you will realize that they always arise from some kind of assumption. Believing that everyone thinks and acts like you, is what ends up causing you great disappointment when you realize that things are not this way, to avoid this type of situation the best thing you can do is ask and put aside all your assumptions. Since when you ask people what their intentions or instructions are, you avoid unnecessary confusion or conflict, this applies to any aspect, be it work, as a couple, family or even with yourself.
Do not worry if you need to ask more questions to be clear, do it without fear! Since the more questions you ask, the closer you will be finding the truth. This agreement focuses on the way you communicate with people, with this change your relationships will not be affected by wrong assumptions.
Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best
Miguel Ruiz says that this agreement allows the other 3 to become a habit in your life. The fourth agreement focuses on: giving your best effort regardless of the circumstances or the outcome. Surely you've ever heard the phrase "Do your best." But do you know what those words mean?
First of all, you should know that as changing beings you may find that your maximum effort is going to be different sometimes. There will be days when you feel discouraged or even sick, so it is normal that your performance is not the same as when you feel good. Here is the advantage of this agreement, “when you give your best in each situation you eliminate the regrets or feelings of guilt” because you gave your best.
When you give your best effort, you can live a life with great intensity in all aspects, from your job or even with your family. Giving your maximum effort means acting because you love to do it, not because you expect a reward. The moment you start loving what you do, giving your best will not be an obligation but a natural reaction.
Enjoy what you do. Many people only work to have a reward every 15 days or a month (their salary), as this is their only motivation they end up with a resistance to work. They find themselves impatient, looking forward to it being time to leave or for the weekend. These people do not give their best as they only do things because they feel compelled to be able to maintain their lifestyle. By the time the weekend arrives, they try to get away from all responsibility because they are not happy with the direction their life is taking.
Meanwhile, people who move for the fun of it and see their salary as something additional, end up achieving more than they ever thought. If you enjoy what you do you will always give your best effort and you will find yourself enjoying your life. Although this agreement is not easy to maintain, it is the one that makes you feel truly free, because when it becomes a belief in your life you begin to accept yourself while learning from your mistakes, but it's important that you don't go to extremes either: If you try to give more than your best effort, you'll only end up wasting your energy unnecessarily.
If you give less than your best effort, you will end up with a feeling of guilt and resentment.
Give the best of you.
You must do your best in every situation. Work hard because it's what makes you happy, not because you expect something in return.
If you do your best to avoid bad habits such as: misusing your words, taking things personal and doing assumptions, they will be less present in your life.
Always do your best to keep these agreements and over time you will see that it becomes easier to achieve it.

36. The Power of Now

1.-Focusing only on the present and ignoring the past and future improves life radically.
We tend to live complaining about the past or dreaming about the future, and we do not value the now enough because we take for granted that there will always be another chance. When we bring back memories of the past or dreams of the future, we make them part of a present to which they do not belong, wasting the situation of living each moment as something unique that we have at our disposal. Only the present matters, stop clinging to the past and don't be afraid of the future. Solve all situations as they arise and fill your life with those little moments that shape a happy life.
2.-Most of the suffering we feel is created by ourselves and, therefore, can be eliminated.
Suffering is nothing other than the resistance we oppose to accept the things that bother us and we cannot change. If you don't take steps to reduce it and manage your thoughts, it can turn into a vicious cycle. From that moment on, everything that you do not control takes over you, you become easily irritated and frustrated, then you make suffering a part essential of your life. Face all situations the moment they arise, accept them or do whatever it takes to change them, but don't let them take over you.
3.-The ego can be our worst enemy
Do you know people who sabotage themselves all the time? They are people whose only mission in life seems to be to be miserable. They may not know, but the culpable of everything is the ego. The ego is that part of the mind that causes us to react in an exaggerated and unequal way, get into absurd discussions, pretend to control others and always want to be right. The ego, as its name says, pretends to be the central part of your life and corrupt it to gain all the attention. Get away from it, detach yourself from the mind and focus on your body. Pay attention to the feelings, the emotions that people and situations provoke in you and listen to your instincts and hunches. Every time you judge someone or a negative thought occurs repeatedly, you can be sure that it is the ego taking control of your life. Ignore it, listen to your body, and move on.
4.-Live alert and willing
If you live alert and willing to take the opportunities that appear when they present themselves, you will be living in the now. Focus your attention on it and do not allow the mind to rule over you. When you are mindful, the mind has no opportunity to fly without sense, your energy and focus are directed to building real things that improve your quality of life, raise your self-esteem and your levels of well-being. Although many people think that living in the present is synonymous with living a passive life, it is the exact opposite, it forces you to strengthen your determination and solve problems in innovative ways.
5.-Living in the present does not eliminate suffering in an absolute way, but it helps to manage it better
Let's not be naive, living in peace and happy does not make you immune to all kinds of suffering. Although most of the pain we experience is self-created, of course there is pain that we cannot avoid, such as the death of a loved one. This is the perfect example that living in the present is not intended to ignore or hide the discomfort in a banal way. Sadness, depression, and other destructive feelings and conditions are real, exist, and it is necessary to recognize them and improve their handling. Living in the present does not eliminate all ailments at once, but it helps you to tackle them immediately and reduce their negative effects.
To conclude, we can say that living thinking about the past or the future, without giving enough value to the big or small things that happen to us in the present, is the perfect route to discomfort, frustration and suffering.
How is meditation of the here and now practiced?
In relation to time, it is advisable to start practicing several minutes a day and expand as you acquire the routine until you reach the ideal rhythm of 30 minutes a day. You have to be persistent, don't give up if you don't notice changes at the beginning and try not to move too fast. Be patient.
Find your quiet moment of the day: in the morning just after waking up, before going to bed at the end of the day, after eating at noon...
Choose a relaxed environment or place: free from noise and / or external distractions, with a suitable temperature and in which we feel very comfortable: in your room, in the office, in an outdoor park, in the garden...
Put on comfortable clothes and place yourself in a comfortable position: Sitting on the floor with your back straight so as not to obstruct your breathing or lying on a mat.
Focus on your breathing: focus on how the air enters through your nostrils into your lungs, how it nourishes your entire body with oxygen, and how it leaves again through your nose, taking with it all the bad and the negative. As soon as your mind wanders, bring it back to the attention of your breathing. With practice, little by little you will improve the technique and it will take less and less time to achieve it.
Let the thoughts and emotions that arise freely appear: It is essential to maintain a neutral attitude towards them, not to judge them as good or bad, simply to perceive and observe them impersonally.

37. The Law of Attraction.

THE SECRET:
There is a secret that few have known for thousand years. Many of the
powerful leaders knew it, but preferred to keep it to themselves rather than share it. The great secret of life is called the "Law of Attraction". This postulates that similar things attract. Therefore, when you have a thought, it draws similar thoughts to you.
Thoughts are a form of magnetic energy and have a rotating frequency. When you have a thought, it is sent out into the universe, and magnetically attracts those things that are vibrating at the same frequency. Consequently, if you want to change something in your life, you must change the frequency and intensity of the vibratory state and this is achieved by changing your thoughts.
Your current thoughts are creating your future life at this very moment, and everything that happens in it, in the near future. What you think about most often, what you focus on the most, will appear in your life in one way or another. Your thoughts will turn into things.
Successful people, those who have attracted abundance into their life, have learned to use the Law of Attraction to do so, consciously or unconsciously, anyway this universal law still works. They have attracted it maintaining wealth and abundance thoughts, and did not allow themselves to have contradictory ideas in their minds.
On the contrary, those who do not have what they want, it is simply because they spend more time thinking about what they do not want or what they do not have, than about what they really want. Whether we realize it or not, we are always thinking. For most, the only time we don't think is when we sleep. However, the Law of Attraction still works with the last thought before going to bed. So, make sure that your last thoughts before going to sleep are dreams and positive thoughts.
The secret (Law of Attraction) in a few words
The Law of Attraction is a natural universal law, as is for example the Law of gravity. As such, it is consistent and impartial.

BONUS - Freedom

How important, necessary, and relative is freedom. Dictionary definition:
State or condition of the person who is free, who is not in prison or subject to the will of another, nor is he constrained by an obligation, duty, discipline, etc.
Faculty and right of people to choose responsibly their own way of acting within a society. "Freedom is a basic human right"
Physical freedom or mental freedom, both depend on the emotions. You can live in paradise, and be imprisoned in your mind, you can live physically imprisoned, and have a free mind. This ability or deficiency depends on your emotional potential.
Emotions, directly connected to our mind and body, affect and control our quality of life. If we learn to moderate and direct our emotions, the body and mind will respond, and we will be able to take our lives to the highest levels of quality. We can stop surviving, and instead live fully.
One of the effective tools to achieve a balance between body, mind and soul: MEDITATION.

BOOKS

1. EL poder del ahora –Eckhart Tolle
2. Los cuatro acuerdos – Don Miguel Ruiz
3. Autodisciplina – Paolo Marrone
4. El Monje que perdió su Ferrari – Robin Sharman
5. El libro tibetano de los muertos – Padma Sambhava
6. La ley de la atracción – Mentes libres
7. Meditación y Mindfulness para principiantes – Maria Prajna
8. Yoga Guía Completa – Tai Morello
9. El maravilloso libro de las frases célebres – Samuel CA
10. El Efecto Actitud — Víctor Küppers